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NASA Approves LASIK for Astronauts!
Advances in LASIK technology have been a continuing process since its introduction. The technology uses a beam of laser light that has been reflected off the back of a patient's eye. Imperfections in the patient's eye distort the beam. The beam is analyzed and used to make a treatment map that guides the laser as it reshapes the eye! Read more...
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Beat the High Price of Gasoline!
Are you sick and tired of the constantly rising gas prices? What if you didn't have to depend on gasoline? Why not run your car on water instead? Although this might sound like a crazy idea, it really works. People have been converting their regular, gas-burning cars into hybrids that use water in order to run! Read more...
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American Idol Mania Holds America In A Tight Grip!
American Idol is now the number one show in America, by far. In fact, they could lose half their viewership on any given night and still be in the top 10 television shows! Read more...
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Scientists Working on Brain for Real Terminator!
Are the days of humans numbered? Are we building 'Terminators' that will lead to our own demise? Efficient killing machines that will turn on us without warning and 'terminate' us all? Read more...
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CrackPot Scientist Says "Double Your Gas Mileage with My New Invention"
Did you know that right now you can drive your car, using water as fuel and laugh at rising fuel costs, while reducing emissions and preventing global warming? Using my new 'Do It Yourself' technology that's simple, easy and affordable, you can tell the oil companies to 'take a hike' as you cut your fuel costs in half! Read more...
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Amazing New Pill Let's You Go For Days Without Sleep!
Originally developed as a treatment for narcolepsy and other sleep disorders, Modafinil has become a tool for those who simply want to get more out of each day. Modafinil isn't a common stimulant, and exactly how it works is still unknown. What is known is that by taking Modafinil you can remain functional and fatigue free for days! Read more...
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Online Date From Hell!
A married couple, who separately and discreetly, were both using online dating services to get a little action on the side, had little idea they were initiating an adulterous affair with one another! Using made up names, the couple were horrified to discover the identity of each other at their first and final rendezvous. Read more...
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Airline Sacrifices Goats to Fix Broken 757 Jet!
Officials at a government operated airline recently sacrificed two goats in an attempt to remedy problems with a Boeing 757 Jumbo Jet! Read more...
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Hero Robot Pulls Man Back From Brink of Death!
Details are still a bit sketchy, but this robot has done something that no robot has ever done - This robot actually saved a man from certain death! Read more...
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Recreational Drugs Replaced by Electronic Gizmo!
No need for marijuana, cocaine or LSD! Charge up your batteries for this Virtual Hallucination Machine! Read more...
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Insurance Companies Want You Dead!
Due to the recent advances in medical science, coupled with the fact that many Americans are exercizing and eating healthier, the average lifespan has increased by ten years since 1950. Although that may be good news to you, it spells heavy expenditures for many insurance companies, so expect some drastic changes in the near future - watch your back! Read more...
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Asian Scientists Use Magic to Combat Aging!
Using MAGIC, Asian scientists have discovered a "cellular fountain of youth". Officially called CKG733, it's able to "reset" the aging mechanism in cells. Not only does it expand the lifespan of young cells, allowing them to live longer and double their normal lifespan, but it also rejuvenates cells that are already old. The compound is capable not only of blocking the aging process, but reversing it as well. Read more...
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Startling Secrets Revealed by 2000 Year Old Computer!
Greek sponge divers discover ancient computer that has age-old secrets of accomplished mathematicians and engineers from long lost civilizations! Read more...
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Stalker Priest Thrown in Jail!
A Catholic priest has been arrested, charged with stalking late-night talk show host Conan O'Brien. If found guilty, he could face hard time in prison! Read more...
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New Invention Connects Your Brain to Computer!
A revolutionary new head mounted device connects your brain to a computer. Now the computer can detect your thoughts and react accordingly! Read more...
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Future Population of USA in Danger of Extinction!
Startling decline in male births could lead the way to human extinction in the coming decades! Read more...
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Einstein’s Brain Driven Cross-Country in Pickle Jar in Trunk of a Buick!
After his death in 1955, Einstein’s brain was removed - without permission from his family, and stored in a pickle jar. Forty three years later, the doctor who removed the brain, drove cross-country with the brain sloshing around in his trunk! Read more...
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US to Build Moon Base Station as Stopping Point on Way to Mars!
Scientists and engineers are hard at work studying technologies that don't yet exist and puzzling over questions such as how to handle the psychological stress of moon settlement and how to build lunar bulldozers! Read more...
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Military Develops Laser Equipped Sharks!
Engineers funded by the US military have created a neural implant designed to enable a shark's brain signals to be manipulated remotely, controlling the animal's movements, and perhaps even decoding what it is feeling! Read more...
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